Scream 4

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Release Date: April 15, 2011

Plot Summary: Poor Sidney Prescott just can't catch a break. This girl has been through it all. First, her high school boyfriend killed her classmates and best friend before being the target herself and framing her dad. Then, while attending college, her new boyfriend's best friend teamed up with her old boyfriend's mother to kill her new classmates and new best friend. After graduating, she tries to lay low, but can't escape once the actors of the movies being made about her life are being killed by her newly discovered half brother. Now, 10 years later, it looks like she's not done yet...

Ok ok... I know. I haven't done one of these in several months. I warned you that I'm a little ADD when it comes to starting a project, but I'm back. And I'm here with Scream 4. I'm a huge Scream fan. The movie single-handedly re-launched the slasher genre in the 90's. Though I'm a horror aficionado, I have to say I'm not a fan of the horror sequel (usually). Now Scream has 3 of them. Do we really need a 4th? Is there really any way Wes can make this one different than the previous 3 installments? Plus, the 3rd was awful and the 2nd just bad. I'm not convinced.

On the other hand, I think Courtney Love is like a fine wine... she only gets better with age. I swear she looks hotter in this one than she did in the others. And the woman's on the bad half of 40! 'Atta girl! Her co-star, David Arquette, should be kicking himself for letting that one go. As for Neve Campbell, she still looks good, too. She hasn't really done anything noteworthy though except for Scream 3. So sad. Interestingly, it also has Anna Paquin (Ssssssookeh) and Mary McDonnell (Madame President) which admittedly makes me a wee bit curious.

There's really not much I can say about this movie. I think it's become fairly obvious that the films I'm not too excited about tend to have shorter entries. While it's easy to chalk it up to laziness, it's really due to lack of enthusiasm. It just seems to me that Wes needed some money, and finding a new crop of youngins to butcher via kitchen knife is a great way to get young males into theater seats. Unfortunately, Scream has fallen victim to the very same horror stereotypes it was originally a satire of. That's not to say I won't end up catching this on blu-ray anyway...

The verdict: Save for Blu-ray

Circle

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Release Date: Unknown (2010)

Plot Summary: A bunch of students are conducting their thesis on a recently escaped serial killer. Their teacher thought it would be a good idea if they stayed at his childhood home to get inside his mind. Yeahhhh.... she thought wrong.

As next week is Halloween, I wanted to talk about an upcoming horror movie to get in the festive spirit. Unfortunately, I chose Circle. This movie looks so boring, I almost couldn't get through the entire trailer. In fact, I got distracted by an axe body spray commercial. AXE BODY SPRAY. That's actually more terrifying than this movie. I'm sorry, but this just looks god awful. What teacher in their right mind would even consider it a good idea to send students to stay at an escaped serial killer's childhood home?? That's just ridiculous and flat out stupid. While I know some movies require you to believe in the universe in which the story is taking place, there's just no way that would happen in any universe.

The lack of any actors I've heard of should have been an indication this was going to be a stinker. It's seems like it's got a little bit Zodiac mixed with Saw 2, sprinkled with some Friday the 13. Certainly a recipe for disaster. The director has done a few TV episodes here and there, so maybe he should stick to that.

But I digress. This may not be the director's fault. It's hard to gauge a director's abilities through a trailer. It could be a simple case of bad screenwriting and stupid movie studio heads who thought this movie would be a good idea. I think I'd make a pretty good studio head if I do say so myself. Anyone hiring??

That being said, I'm going to save my money on this one.

The Verdict: HELLS no

The Dilemma

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Release Date: January 14, 2011

Plot Summary: Ronny and Nick are longtime friends who are partners in their auto-design business in this bromantic comedy. It seems life can't get any better for the two of them until Ronny catches Nick's wife making out with another man. Ronny's life is turned upside down as he struggles with how (or if) to tell Nick.

Ron Howard will always have a place in my heart for his narrating role in two and a half seasons of Arrested Development (RIP). And for bringing us Richie Cunningham. He's a seasoned director (and actor) whose films have won both critical acclaim and hollywood awards. To be quite honest, a lot of his films recently just don't do it for me. Both Da Vinci Code movies... meh. There are still some gems hidden in there, but I'm more of a fan of his pre-2000 movies like Cocoon, Apollo 13, and Ransom. Oh, and Willow, too. Whenever I hear he's directing a movie, I'm always willing to check it out since he's fairly reliable.

Unfortunately, I don't think I can say that for The Dilemma. If this is supposed to be a comedy, I don't think I laughed once throughout the entire trailer - and that's where they usually put in the funniest parts! Even if it's not the "laugh-out-loud" (LOL...) kind of comedy, it still looks boring and not "laugh-on-the-inside" (LOTI?) funny. How to tell your friend his wife's cheating on him? The whole plot sounds too simple and boring for me. Not that there's anything wrong with simple - Empire Records is one of my go-to lazy Sunday movies. That, and Showgirls - the most unintentionally hilarious movie I've ever seen.

The two leads don't make me want to rush out and see this any time soon, either. I've never really been a fan of anything Kevin James has done. I just don't think he's that funny. King of Queens was overrated, and his resume of films is less than stellar... Paul Blart? Grown Ups? And then there's Vince Vaughn. Vince Vince Vince... I'm sorry buddy, but I think you and I need a break. You just need some time to recollect yourself and take on a couple challenging projects. Hey, that's what you used to do back in the 90's when we met. And then you really hit your high and found the perfect roles for you in Old School and Wedding Crashers. Since then though, you've kinda put out nothing but crap. I know I know... those are some harsh words. But maybe a little tough love is what you need. It's time to retire the 35-year-old loveable, sweet-talking frat boy persona and try something different for a change. Like you, it's not getting any younger. So please take some time off to challenge yourself, instead of accepting any stupid script that comes across your desk. I don't want to have to see a movie called Five Christmases coming out next year...

The only somewhat redeemable part of this movie would have to be the supporting cast. And even then, it's nothing to write home about. I'll admit I'm more favorable toward Jennifer Connelly, Winona Ryder, Channing Tatum, and Queen Latifah, but none of them I'd necessarily call a draw. And how exactly do you address Queen Latifah in a social setting? Do you call her Latifah or Queen? Do you have to bow when saying Queen Latifah? I just need to know in the off-chance I may actually meet her.

The Verdict: HELLS no is kinda harsh. So I'm going to reserve that for the crappiest of the crap. Instead, I'll give this my new verdict of Pass...

127 Hours

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Release Date: November 5

Plot Summary: Based on a true story, mountain biker Aron Ralston falls into a crevasse, getting his arm trapped between a wall and a boulder. He's trapped for (you guessed it) 127 hours and has two options: death or self-amputation. What would you do?

To be honest, this trailer doesn't really do it for me. Don't get me wrong - I do want to see this for a number of reasons, but as far as trailers go... it's not really that good. What immediately turned me off were the flashbacks to Boyle's previous film, Slumdog Millionaire. And while I did love Slumdog, it feels awfully gimmicky to use it as an incentive to get people to see this. Even the best directors are susceptible to shitty movies (Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? Jack? The Lovely Bones?). I'll admit it does a nice job of setting up the premise, but I still would've liked at least a glimpse of what happens after his arm gets trapped - I already knew that was going to happen before I even watched the trailer.

It does make me a little nervous about the movie itself, but I have a lot of faith in Danny Boyle as a director despite the fact he ruined my favorite book, The Beach. And even though The Beach was flat out awful, it's still got some great scenery shots of Phuket. Besides, it's hard to hate the man that gave us Trainspotting. The cinematography in 127 Hours looks stunning, and there's no shortage of great scenery in Moab, Utah. He's definitely got a vision and his own flair for directing, which makes his movies exciting for me. Boyle is also a very passionate director and it often shows in his movies.

James Franco stars as Aron, and there's certainly a lot of pressure on him to pull this off. After all, the main focus of the movie is his helplessness from being trapped. From what I gather, the scenes from the trailer are pulled from only the first half hour or so. The majority of the movie takes place in the crevasse in a very claustrophobic atmosphere. Supposedly, medics were called for two audience members at two separate screenings in Telluride. While my obvious reaction is a giant eye roll, I do know that watching small spaces for some can trigger panic attacks.

I'm a little on the fence with Mr. Franco - he was great in Milk and Pineapple Express, but I still feel like he needs to prove himself in order to get away from the whole teen heartthrob thing. I'm pulling for him though, and I really hope he'll nail this. There's been some Oscar buzz around it, but honestly, which fall film doesn't have Oscar buzz at this stage in the game? Franco and Boyle are enough to get my butt in the seat on this one, but then there's the addition of Lizzy Caplan of Mean Girls and True Blood fame. She's the icing on the cake - I just wish they showed more of her.

While I don't think I'm ruining anything that's not common knowledge, I'll slap a little spoiler warning on here just in case... did you skip to the verdict yet? I suggest you do because I'm not giving you any more chances to after this... Okay, here we go... I can't wait to see how they handle the amputation scene - I'm sure it's going to be pretty intense. I keep wondering if I were ever in that position, would I be able to cut off my own arm to save my life? I honestly don't know if my body could physically be capable of doing such a thing, but then again I'm sure we're all capable of anything in the face of death. Just thinking about it makes me want to see the movie even more!

The Verdict: In the theater

Black Swan

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Release Date: December 1, 2010

Plot Summary: Competition at its best: two ballerina's fight for the lead role in Swan Lake. Nina would have the role locked up if it weren't for impressive newcomer Lily. As they fight to win over the director, a strange friendship develops. The pressure appears too much for Nina as she dives into a dark place.

Black Swan is the newest film from Darren Aronofsky. As the director of one of my favorite films, Requiem for a Dream, whenever I hear about a new movie of his, I'm instantly intrigued. He's a master of intensity, and ballet makes for a perfect subject. While I'm not a huge ballet fan, I have a great deal of respect for the amount of hours and training ballerinas put into their craft. It seems like it's very easy for anyone to crack under that kind of pressure and it looks like that's where Nina's headed. What I like so much about Darren is that he really wants us to feel what his characters feel and in doing so is able to tap deep into our emotions. Hence why I can only seldom watch Requiem since it's too much to just casually watch.

It can't be left up to the director though to deliver on emotion though, he needs good actors. Lucky for us, we get Natalie Portman in the role of Nina. I know some people love her and some people hate her, but I fall squarely in the "Love Her" category. She really cares about the characters she plays and of the things I've seen her in, I never got the feeling she phoned it in - even in the Star Wars prequels. Her performance in this looks beautifully deranged as she falls victim to the dark side (sorry, couldn't resist). Plus it seems she has a Carrie-like crazy mother who assists in her psychological deterioration. At least I hope that's how it goes - I like me some crazy women.

Speaking of crazy women, as I was watching this trailer, I was surprised to hear the voice of Meg Griffin. I honestly don't think I've ever seen Mila Kunis in anything other than That 70's Show and Family Guy. She has a very recognizable voice, and whenever I hear it all I can think of is Meg Griffin. I'm hoping this will change that. Plus, she shares a steamy make-out sesh with Nats.

All in all, I think this looks promising. I don't know if I'll make it out to see it in the theater, but I would definitely be interested in seeing this. Of course, if it gets stellar reviews like the Wrestler did, you can bet your bottom I'll be there. The part that really made me raise an eyebrow was in the last seconds of the trailer. I have no idea what she pulled out of her back or why her eyes are so red, but I want to know more. Good job, trailer editors!

The Verdict: In the theater

The Town

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Release Date: September 17, 2010

Plot Summary: Set in Boston, this classic love story involves a boy who meets a girl while he's robbing the bank she works at. The masked boy kidnaps the girl in order to get away, then lets her go. Boy later falls in love with girl, but girl doesn't realize who the boy is. All the while, the FBI is hot on the boy's trail as he wrestles with the decison to leave his life of crime.

I'm a sucker for any movie set in Boston. I know it's cheesy, but I love recognizing certain locations. The novelty wore off a long time ago for people living in NYC or LA, I'm sure. I'm also very critical of movies set in Boston since I love listening to actors butcher the accent. There's a certain flair behind it that goes beyond just dropping your R's. Luckily, Ben Affleck grew up in Cambridge, so he's familiar with these kinds of nuances. Already, I'm a bit peeved at the bad rep Charlestown is receiving. First, I haven't heard of 300 bank robberies occuring in Boston per year. Second, Charlestown rocks. Yes, it was a pretty rough neighborhood maybe 15 years ago, but thanks to gentrification, it's a really pretty neighborhood with a lot going on. Yeah, there are still a couple projects, but what urban area doesn't have at least one or two? Third, "bank robbery capital of the world"... really? Really?? I find that a bit hard to believe.

Ben Affleck movies are a bit hit or miss with me. Of course, we all know "Affleck was the BOMB in Phantoms, yo" and almost everything he made in the 90's is golden... except for Forces of Nature. But then he let me down in the zeroes with mostly bad to mediocre films. I did like Boiler Room though. I do hope this ends up being one of his better ones though. After all, the last time he put on a Boston accent, we got Good Will Hunting. Interestingly enough, he is also the director of The Town. I haven't seen the other movie he directed, Gone Baby Gone, but I heard some good things about it. He's still a new-ish director, but I'm curious to see what he can pull off. We all know he can write well. Hell, he has the Oscar to prove it. He is listed as a contributing writer, so we'll see.

Then we have Jem, played by Jeremy Renner, who's pretty much a certified badass thanks to The Hurt Locker. He was great in that film, and I'm really interested to see what he can do here. His character's name makes me giggle since the 80's cartoon of the same name ruined it forever. Someone else who caught my eye in the trailer was Blake Lively. Gossip Girl is a guilty pleasure of mine and I'm curious to see Serena Van der Woodsen in a more adult role. I hope it turns out she actually has some decent acting chops and makes me forget about her being an Upper East Side socialite.

The problem with this trailer is that I'm afraid it gave too much of the movie away. We already saw characters engaged in police shootouts, professing their love for one another, and talking with the FBI in an interrogation room. What else could there possibly be besides just the ending? I also can't help but get the sense that this is The Departed-lite. Either way, I won't rush to the theater to see this, but if it gets decent enough reviews, I'll certainly be checking it out.

The Verdict: In the theater

Devil

"Do I look like such a threat?"



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Plot Summary: A group of people, conveniently mixed of different genders, races, and ages, are trapped in an elevator. Weird, mysterious stuff begins to happen as not all is as it seems. The Devil himself may be among them and even the people trying to rescue them don't know what's going on.

Devil is being marketed as "from the mind of M. Night Shamalayamala," but honestly, that doesn't have the credibility it once had. Ramalamadingdong is one of the most overrated hacks in Hollywood. At least he's not directing it, otherwise it's all but guaranteed to suck. As it stands, it's only likely that it will suck. How this guy is still being given money to create movies is beyond me. Ok sure, The Sixth Sense was great and no one saw that ending coming. Then we had Signs, a mediocre film in which invading aliens are vulnerable to water, even though Earth's atmosphere is made up of 50% water vapor. Shamalama's body of work continued to decline with The Village, and then even further with Lady in the Water. People thought he couldn't sink any lower than The Happening, but then he proved them wrong with this summer's The Last Airbender. The latter being a particularly sensitive subject since the cartoon it's based off of is pretty damn awesome. After this body of crap he's produced, it's a wonder he can still find work.

On to the trailer though. Once I saw the pothead from Super Troopers in it, all I could hear in my head for the rest of the trailer was "the snosberries taste like snosberries." The movie looks a little contrived, and already the trailer hints at the potential for cheesy lines like the one above. Ooooo, could she really be a threat? I don't know, but it's suspicious she alluded to it! Ugh. Maybe I'm being overly critical since it's quite obvious I have a bias against Shmumai, but seriously how can one not?

I also gotta admit, I felt a little nauseous watching, but I couldn't tell if it was from seeing Yamalamala's name or the upside down shots of the city. Either way, I'd like to keep my lunch in my stomach. To be fair, the rest of the cinematography looked like it could be pretty decent. And there were a few moments that made it seem like there could be some good material, but so did The Happening and we all know how that turned out.

I'll still keep an eye on this when it comes out, just in case it ends up being surprisingly good. I love my horror movies, but I'm not holding my breath on this one. Especially since one of the directors is responsible for unleashing Quarantine, a remake of a Spanish film called Rec., on the masses. [Shudder]

The Verdict: Save for Blu-ray