The Expendables

"In 10 seconds you won't believe what's gonna happen"


IMDB it

Plot Summary: A rag-tag gang of mercenaries take a trip to the tropical South American island paradise of Vilena (warning: do NOT google this word...) and meet up with a hot babe. But now's not the time for frolicking on the hot, sunny beaches because this babe called them down there to overthrow the country's genocidal dictator. Begin mayhem.

Expendables looks to be the testosterone fueled he-man action movie to end all testosterone fueled he-man action movies. With a cast that includes Sly Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis and Ahnuld Schwarzenegger, I'd say they're off to a damn good start.

I'm a bit on the fence about action movies like this. On the one hand, I do love a good ass-kicking, but on the other, I gotta say most of these macho action movies are pretty bad. But I do very much hope this one succeeds. If it fails, it would be a waste of so much amazing ass-kicking talent it would be criminal. Lionsgate better deliver, otherwise they're going to have a lot of pissed off action heroes to answer to. I mean, have they seen Rocky 4??

Thankfully, the Governator was able to take some time off from trying to solve California's massive budget crisis to make a cameo - I don't think this movie could be made without his leathered face in it. Seriously.

The cast alone has garnered enough buzz that I'm pretty sure it'll be successful no matter what. Add to that the fact that not too many R-rated adult action movies are coming out this summer and it's pretty much guaranteed. My money is mostly likely contributing to the gross.

Unfortunately, as I watched this trailer all I could hear was "...with club sauce" in my head after everything the announcer said. And while, it made me laugh, it was a bit distracting. Am I right that it sounds like Gob Bluth is reading that copy??

The movie does look very promising. Fights, explosions, hot girls, guys who wear their balls on their sleeves, "down with America" dictators that audiences can rally against... it's got everything you could possibly need. I just hope it doesn't disappoint like so many before it. I have a really hard time imagining how this could possibly be bad. It looks totally badass and I'm pretty excited. I won't be the first in line... but maybe like 50th or 51st.

Verdict: In the theater